Blog
Frequent updates on how I plan to complete the project.
June 5, 2020 - Leadership Lab
The journey begins! This is going to be an interesting summer, that much is evident. Prior to high school, I hadn't even written more than three pages for an assignment, but now I am about to embark on a multi-chapter, multi-layered project. During the leadership lab, I was able to map out the necessary steps towards my goal of a published collection. It seems there will be a great deal of outlining - outlining the structure of the book itself, then the individual stories, and eventually creating an outline of the outlines. The majority of this project will be a dedication of time, so I will be creating a routine for myself that involves writing on a consistent schedule. Even if all I write is one word, spending an hour with the sole intent of writing can spark an idea. I also intend to do a fair amount of reading, as one can never write without proper ammunition.
June 15, 2020 - Summer Goals
My goals for the summer consist of outlining all the pieces I plan to write, producing first drafts of about half the stories and poems, then properly arranging them. This would mean outlining 6 poems and 5 stories, then actually completing 3 poems and 3 stories. I also intend to draft an introductory passage and a final epilogue. Every week I have a scheduled check-in with my mentor, Mrs. Steppe, for one hour, where we will discuss my progress and next steps. Together, we have made a calendar detailing my weekly goals and daily work. At this point, I have only briefly considered the publication process, that will become the focus once I have accomplished a good portion of the writing.
Here is my initial outline of how I picture the structure of the piece.
July 27, 2020 - The StructureOver the past month, I have continued to write and outline the stories I wish to share. Some of them have taken different forms than I expected, but all encompass a divided identity in one way or another. Originally I had planned to include any poems as a separate entity from the stories, as a sort of pre-cursor or introduction to the topic the story would be focusing on. Now, however, I intend to include the poems after the stories, and make a defined appearance within the plot.
For example, my first piece deals with a man who appears to be cheating on his wife, but is actually working towards publishing a collection of poems. He feels torn between this passion and the family he has created, believing that his wife would not support him out of a desire for stability. In the end, it is his own doubt that is the enemy, rather than his wife’s. The poem that I include at the end illustrates the love he has for his daughter and loyalty to his wife, proving that his family fuels his successes instead of drawing from them. Below is the rough draft of this poem. Other than this new arrangement, the structure will still follow my initial plan of five stories and five poems, along with an introduction and conclusion. It’s important to me that there be a mix of mediums and themes, since I feel it represents the multi-layered people I write about. The collection itself, in a a sense, is a manifestation of each of their stories in its... multi-faceted-ness. Multi-facetedness? Maybe all these hyphens are getting to me. |
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As far as the stories themselves go, defining the plots has been an intriguing process to complete. I’ve decided on five stories dealing with separate themes, ranging from racial conflicts to undercover writers. My biggest obstacle when writing these narratives is my lack of experience with some of the topics. This, of course, was to be expected; writing from other points of view has the same qualities as acting a role in a movie. My goal is always just to portray these conflicts as accurately as I can, but in some cases, I have no way of knowing exactly how someone may feel.
For instance, one of my stories involved a teenager growing up with two fathers, and his struggle in accepting them when faced with judgement from his peers. As a result of this, he rarely mentions them to his friends, keeping his home life and social life completely separate. In my head, I thought it would be interesting if this character had a kind of jnternalized homophobia, but as I tried to write the story it became less plausible for him to have developed this. His parents are good parents, it would be unlikely that at 15 or 16 years old he hadn’t already grappled with these issues and dealt with them. So, I decided to age him down a bit, creating a character that is confronting these issues for the first time in a school setting. I felt that this may lead to a more accurate rendition of his thoughts and feelings regarding his family.
Other stories that I'm developing include a ballet dancer grappling with her weight, and a teenager mourning the loss of her mom while her father seems ready to move on. One of the other big struggles I'm encountering is originality... sometimes it feels like any ideas I come up with have already been done, so there's no use writing them. Typically, I just have to remind myself that they are still stories that need to be told. It's like I owe something to these fictional characters and they deserve the chance to live on the page.
For instance, one of my stories involved a teenager growing up with two fathers, and his struggle in accepting them when faced with judgement from his peers. As a result of this, he rarely mentions them to his friends, keeping his home life and social life completely separate. In my head, I thought it would be interesting if this character had a kind of jnternalized homophobia, but as I tried to write the story it became less plausible for him to have developed this. His parents are good parents, it would be unlikely that at 15 or 16 years old he hadn’t already grappled with these issues and dealt with them. So, I decided to age him down a bit, creating a character that is confronting these issues for the first time in a school setting. I felt that this may lead to a more accurate rendition of his thoughts and feelings regarding his family.
Other stories that I'm developing include a ballet dancer grappling with her weight, and a teenager mourning the loss of her mom while her father seems ready to move on. One of the other big struggles I'm encountering is originality... sometimes it feels like any ideas I come up with have already been done, so there's no use writing them. Typically, I just have to remind myself that they are still stories that need to be told. It's like I owe something to these fictional characters and they deserve the chance to live on the page.
August 5, 2020 - The Inspiration
The other day, a friend of mine asked me how I came to my understanding of the hyphen, and it struck me that perhaps this is something I should write about here. In tenth grade, one of our assigned books was Dreaming in Cuban by Cristina García. The premise followed three generations of Cuban women grappling with their history and relationships with each other, while also tying in elements of magical realism, (a staple of Latin-American literature). Once I finished the book, I meandered through the bonus features at the end, when García made one particular remark in an interview about “living on the hyphen.” For me, this was the most vivid metaphor I had encountered to describe being of two worlds that shape who you are, yet seem to divide you at the same time.
As it turns out, I’m far from the first person to feel this way. Author and poet Gustavo Perez Firmat described living on the hyphen through his lens as a Cuban-American, while Chinese-Canadian poet Fred Wah explores his understanding in his work Diamond Grill. I even once saw it mentioned in a Young Adult romance novel Frankly in Love by David Yoon. Although I am not the first person to consider the hyphen through a racial lens, I hope to bring that same understanding into various situations where one might feel split or torn between two worlds.
As it turns out, I’m far from the first person to feel this way. Author and poet Gustavo Perez Firmat described living on the hyphen through his lens as a Cuban-American, while Chinese-Canadian poet Fred Wah explores his understanding in his work Diamond Grill. I even once saw it mentioned in a Young Adult romance novel Frankly in Love by David Yoon. Although I am not the first person to consider the hyphen through a racial lens, I hope to bring that same understanding into various situations where one might feel split or torn between two worlds.
August 31, 2020 - Moving Forward
As we enter the final week of summer, I am putting my finishing touches on everything I can: the five completed outlines, two stories, two poems... everything is being either re-written or revised. Moving forward, I plan to continue to set deadlines for myself as I write my remaining three stories and two poems, then research the publishing process within my community. My biggest development, however, has been in my manner of thinking. Recently, I have been trying to consider this project as a process, rather than solely for the final result. Writing to produce a workable product is fine, sure, but part of my goal for this project was to work on my personal process - learning how I write, what I want to write about, and overall just perfecting my style. Sometimes it is difficult to remember what my aim is here, so I've been keeping a sticky note on my desk of tiny writing reminders. My intention is to add one goal/lesson every time I sit down to write, until eventually I have a comprised list of things to consult during the revision process. Maybe this is just extra work, but it feels necessary in order to remember that this is about the process. By having these notes nearby, I can always feel like I've contributed something to my growth as an artist.
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September 17, 2020 - Progress Check
The first draft of my forty percent!
November 11, 2020 - Fall Semester Goals
A PDF document concerning the state of my project and goals, as reviewed by my mentor and I.
November 29, 2020 - Poem Update
For one of my poems, I thought I would experiment with the "Compare Documents" feature in Word. Sometimes, an idea will strike me while I'm on the go, or even just in bed and nowhere near my computer, so I will compose the rough draft under the "Notes" app. Usually, this takes place from one to two in the morning. I decided to copy and paste that first, very rough draft into a Word Doc and compare it to a revised version that I've been working on for a week or so. It has taken a couple passes for me to be happy with it, but at the very least its received my fully conscious attention. I included both the side-by-side comparison and the Word generated comparison document. There were a total of 101 revisions, with plenty more to come. Take a look!
poem_3_comparison_.docx | |
File Size: | 19 kb |
File Type: | docx |
December 17, 2020 - Writer’s Block
The title of this entry strikes fear in every writer, or anyone even remotely creatively-inclined. For me, it is a constant and ongoing struggle that I’m still learning to overcome. In all honesty, the past two months I have been stuck when trying to tackle any of the more creative stories. I have my outlines, my ideas laid out before me, and yet I can’t bring myself to write something. One of my worst habits is I’ll write a sentence or a paragraph, read it over a few times, then immediately delete it. Nothing seems quite right, quite good enough, to deserve its place on the page.
I think I need a new approach. So, for my own sake, I’m going to list a few ways to defeat writer’s block for future reference:
1. Take a hike. Move around. Get some new scenery because your room isn’t cutting it.
2. Write something unrelated. Writing anything at all is progress, maybe loosening up your mind with a smaller piece can get the juices flowing again.
3. Write absolutely anything. Gibberish. Set a five minute timer and go.
4. Talk it out with someone, even your own reflection. Think it through.
5. SLEEP.
6. Re-read a favorite book. Gain some inspiration.
7. Write something, then let it sit. Ferment, if you will. Give your subconscious time to mull it over.
8. Be kind to yourself. The more pressure you feel, the harder it gets - focus on one thing at a time and remember that you are capable of this.
I think I need a new approach. So, for my own sake, I’m going to list a few ways to defeat writer’s block for future reference:
1. Take a hike. Move around. Get some new scenery because your room isn’t cutting it.
2. Write something unrelated. Writing anything at all is progress, maybe loosening up your mind with a smaller piece can get the juices flowing again.
3. Write absolutely anything. Gibberish. Set a five minute timer and go.
4. Talk it out with someone, even your own reflection. Think it through.
5. SLEEP.
6. Re-read a favorite book. Gain some inspiration.
7. Write something, then let it sit. Ferment, if you will. Give your subconscious time to mull it over.
8. Be kind to yourself. The more pressure you feel, the harder it gets - focus on one thing at a time and remember that you are capable of this.
December 31, 2020 - In Honor of the New Year
With the new year just around the corner, I’ve decided to complete a writing exercise on this platform. I am going to write for five minutes, without stopping, and without deleting a single word. For the first time, you will get to see my writing fresh out of the gate. Prepare yourself - I’m not nearly as eloquent on the fly. My prompt is related to one of my more personal pieces, “Letters to Who I’ve Been.”
Alright, on your mark...
Get set...
GO!
Alright, on your mark...
Get set...
GO!
January 14, 2021 - Meeting with Ms. Maxey
Earlier on January 14, I had a brief meeting with Ms. Maxey to discuss publication and the sorts of items I need to know before contacting the publisher. My main focus at the moment is on writing and revising all of the stories and poems, however I realized that I need to start considering things like what sorts of dimensions I want the physical book to be, how many copies, artwork, and how many pages. My hesitant conclusions are a 6" by 9" booklet, hovering around 75 pages in total, and I'd need to contact a friend of mine about possible artwork. I also may ask my grandmother, as she is a very talented artist as well. With those dimensions, it would actually amount to about 60% of total pages. For the time being, I intend to just write out the drafts to the extent I feel like and then cut down or add more as needed. If everything goes according to plan, I should be finished by the end of spring break, and ready to fully launch the publication process. Despite my nervousness, Ms. Maxey assured me that everything will work out in due time. Back to work!
January 31/February 1, 2021 - Dear ________
Fun fact: February 9th is my "Gotchya Day"! So in honor of exactly seventeen years since I first became a part of my family, I decided to do some introspection and finish up the first of my final set of three works, "Letters to Who I've Been". It's a rough draft, so the writing is a tad on the nose, but I think it's a good start. For context, "Soon Fung" was the name given to me by the orphanage. It means "gentle-flowing breeze" I believe. I would include this information in an introductory blurb before the stories began. Again, sharing this kind of thing is a little out of my element - it's really just the writing that's therapeutic for me. Perhaps one could argue that it shouldn't be shared at all, then, but if that were the case, we would have nothing to read.
February 3, 2021 - Meeting with My Mentor
My mentor Mrs. Steppe and I discussed my goals for the next month and a half, as well as my progress. In the next few weeks, I intend to finish my stories in two week intervals - this means I will finish the letters by the end of Presidents' Day Weekend, "Story #4" by March 1st, and "Story #2" by the end of spring break. I've allotted this time with the notion that Story #2 will take a bit longer, given it is the least familiar to me. Every two weeks, I will send Mrs. Steppe my drafts and check-in with her again. By the end of February, I intend to contact Ms. Maxey again to discuss my progress moving forward, and then be ready to contact Mr. Anderson by the end of March. Regarding the book itself, I also intend to reach out to a few artistic friends and see if they have any ideas for the cover. As far as the font goes, I have always been partial to Garamond, but these are details I agreed to discuss with Ms. Maxey later on. I've also set aside two hours every weekend dedicated to just writing, and may incorporate a weekday schedule as I approach spring break. In the event that I do not follow these guidelines, there is extra time provided in March to account for this. However, if I abide by my goals, I should be finished with all of the pieces in the next month. These goals are also outlined on the "Milestones" page.
March 31, 2021 - Spring Break Progress
Over spring break, I worked on a few different aspects of the project. Firstly, I did some general editing of my completed drafts for grammar, spelling, and other marginal errors. I also managed to pull together the end of one of my works, Letters to Who I've Been. I completed the full outline and about fifty percent of the writing for Story #4, as well as a poem for a previous draft that I'm still working on now. The poem itself is a bit more experimental than previous drafts, more stream-of-consciousness, but I think I can make it work well with a story idea I had in mind. I've also contacted my grandmother about the cover and intend to keep a running correspondence with her in the coming months.
April 23, 2021 - To the Printer!
The day has arrived: I sent all of my pieces to Ms. Maxey on Wednesday, a few days before, and today I received notification that it has been sent to the printer.
I will be honest, it isn’t exactly what I imagined. My original outline and the drafts I sent in do not line up quite as well as I’d hoped, but it’s there! It’s together! I wrote all the pieces, edited all the pieces, and I’m happy with it. There is even one unfinished piece included, which I debated adding but I thought was important to the corresponding poem. All-in-all, I’m satisfied... my grandmother finished the cover and it looks fantastic. I still wrote all of the pieces. I think it will be a decent collection and I’m so excited to share the finished product.
I will be honest, it isn’t exactly what I imagined. My original outline and the drafts I sent in do not line up quite as well as I’d hoped, but it’s there! It’s together! I wrote all the pieces, edited all the pieces, and I’m happy with it. There is even one unfinished piece included, which I debated adding but I thought was important to the corresponding poem. All-in-all, I’m satisfied... my grandmother finished the cover and it looks fantastic. I still wrote all of the pieces. I think it will be a decent collection and I’m so excited to share the finished product.
May 10, 2021 - They're Here!!
At long last... the finished copies are in! They are gorgeous and tiny and both exactly what I expected and not what I expected at all. There are about 100 copies, and I already have offers pouring in from my adoring fans. Kidding, although I do have a few requests. I've taken a peak at them and spotted a few minor errors on my part, which is disappointing, but I also knew that was bound to happen. I can't wait to hear what people think, as scary as that is. This is everything I have been waiting for. (Thank you to Mrs. Carsley for the photo!)
May 19, 2021 - Covid-19 Impact & Final Thoughts
Overall, I was very fortunate in that my project was not too direly impacted by Covid-19. I could work from anywhere; as long as I had my phone I could easily edit a poem, or revise a few sentences of a story. My personal motivation might be another story, which I do believe was influenced by Covid. I'm so thrilled with the fact I was able to complete this, and that I had the opportunity to bring a metaphor to life. I don't think I will ever stop writing about it, or finding ways to expand what the hyphen means. Maybe I extend it to all grammatical icons -- you may never know the power of the ampersand.
Of course, my journey isn't finished quite yet. I am actually working on a hand-bound copy of my final set of letters, "Letters to Who I've Been", and have started the process of printing the pages and buying specific paper. It is a rather creative extension of my project, an artistic expression of my work, that was admittedly all Mrs. Carsley's idea. I will update when the handbound copy is finished!
Of course, my journey isn't finished quite yet. I am actually working on a hand-bound copy of my final set of letters, "Letters to Who I've Been", and have started the process of printing the pages and buying specific paper. It is a rather creative extension of my project, an artistic expression of my work, that was admittedly all Mrs. Carsley's idea. I will update when the handbound copy is finished!